She's Here! Meet Lillie Rhea Harmon

Lillie Rhea Harmonwas born on November 27, 2012at 9:51 a.m.  She weight 4 lbs 11 ozand was 17 inches long.  Our sweet girl took us very much by surprise as we were not expecting her arrival until January 9^th.  I guess she was ready to come into the world.  I think I made her too excited for Christmas and she couldn’t stand waiting a whole year to experience her first one! ;-)

 

 

I woke up that Tuesday morning at 3 a.m.  with my water breaking.   Well, I actually thought I had peed in the bed at first, ha, and I was so mad and embarrassed.  I went back to sleep for a few minutes only to wake up with horrible cramps.  So I got back up to use the bathroom only to find myself wet again.  I was in denial about what was happening, so I told myself that I must be getting in that phase of pregnancy where incontinence was normal.  Ha ha.  I used the bathroom but continued to get some really bad cramps...  That’s when it hit me-I was in labor. 

I went and sat in the bed for about 15 minutes still kind of in denial of what was happening.  At 4 a.m. I woke up Justin and told him what was happening.   We knew that we needed to get to the hospital but we were not prepared.   My contractions hurt at first but weren’t too terribly bad, so I decided I could take a quick shower (for the 36 hour labor that awaited me…I had convinced myself that I would be the weirdo that would take days to have a baby) and shaved my legsbefore we left.  When I was shaving my right leg, I had a contraction and I thought “man, this is gonna be a funny story for later” but little did I know that the story was gonna get a little crazy before it was all over with.

After I got out of the shower, my contractions started coming faster and they were growing in intensity. We started running around trying to find our “bring to the hospital list”, pack our bag, get the baby necessities and get the car loaded, all while I’m stopping every 2-5 minutes for contractions that hurt like hell and took me to my knees.  I kept telling Justin “I’m sorry babe.  I’m trying to get my stuff together but it just hurts so bad.” At one point Justin looked me in the eye dead on and said “We HAVE to go to the hospital.”  He was so serious and firm that it kinda shocked me-he’s never talked to me that way before.  I got my butt into gear and we left for the hospital at 5:30 a.m.

By the time the nurses got me settled into a room and checked in, I was already dilated to a 3.  My contractions were getting more intense and coming faster.  Justin surprised me when he took my hand and prayed.  It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard that man do.  Just after that, I forgot that sweet man and thought, “There is NO WAY we are ever having another child.  WE WERE CRAZY to do this! I never want to be here again!”

I kept asking when I could get an epidural and all the nurses just told me “soon.” All the nurses had orders not to check me so that there was no risk of infection.  My contractions eased up for a just a bit when the doctor (I was seeing a midwife, but a doctor had to deliver the baby since I was pre-term) came to check on me.  He told us that if I wasn’t in “real labor” then maybe I could ride it out for a couple of days so the baby could stay in and cook a little longer.  But if it was time, then I might be having a baby today.  Since I seemed to be doing better, he ordered the nurses to let me eat and drink and he’d be back to check on me.  He left without checking to see how far along I was and I was thinking, “OMG, I cannot do this for 2 days!  I. WILL. DIE.”  It was around 8:45ish a.m.

My midwife came in immediately after and was so great giving me the support I needed.  One of the nurses begged her to check me.  The nurse had been watching me and knew I was in some real pain.  She thought the doctor was crazy and that there was no way I was going to make it 2 more days.  They checked me and I was dilated to a 9.  For those of you that don’t know anything about childbirth, you start pushing when you are at a 10.  Everyone went crazy trying to prepare and I told my midwife “I kept telling everyone I needed an epidural.”  She looked at me and said “You have been so calm and going through this so well.  No one could tell that you were in that much pain.  You have been doing such a great job.”   

From there on out, it was just so crazy.  They whisked in the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural.  I felt like he was trying to talk me out of it because he kept saying, “this will not ease the pain during the delivery.  It will still hurt, you will still feel pressure.  It’s meant to help you get to delivery and you are already here.  As soon as we turn it on, we will have to turn it off. Are you sure you want it?”  I’m not gonna lie-I thought “it would probably be cheaper if I didn’t take it.  It’s a waste of money.”  Ha ha, how my brain was still thinking logically, I will never know.  I did take the epidural and he was right, as soon as I got it, it was time to push.

 

I’m so glad that I decided to get the epidural, because it allowed me to rest for just a few minutes pain free to get a little strength back. I was exhausted from the pain, the tension and the lack of sleep.  I probably pushed for about 45 minutes and little baby Lillie was born!  Because she was a preemie, they had to take her pretty fast.  I got to touch her for just a second before they cleaned her up.  Then they brought her over to my face to take a picture.  I barely got to even look at her before they took her to the nursery to monitor her.

 

 

 

Justin went with Lillie while they finished me up.  It was a long time before I was able to see her.  It took me an even longer time to realize what the hell just happened-I had a baby.  I got through the worst of child birth with just some pain killers in my system.  I was a mommy and Justin was a daddy to a beautiful, sweet, feisty little girl. Amazing.

 

 

Lillie did great after being delivered.  She was placed in the NICU for monitoring since she was 6 weeks early.  As precautions since they didn’t know how she would do, she was hooked up to a feeding tube, oxygen, IV fluids, and monitors, but she was a little fighter and showed everyone how strong she is.  I was finally able to hold her for the first time at about 8 p.m. or so.  It was only for about 5 minutes but I so needed that.  I’m not a crier, but when they told me I could finally hold her, the tears started coming.  When the nurse put her in my arms, I was so overwhelmed by emotions, and I cried some more.

 

 

 

 

During the past 5 days, Lillie has really let her little personality shine through.  Every day she tackles some milestone, obtains some goal, and shows the nurses that she wants to come home.  One after one, the tubes have come off of her.  She never needed a feeding tube because she has had no problems eating.  The oxygen was the next to go.  She’s been breathing on her own since she was 2 days old.  They have taken her off antibiotics because her risk of infection is down to minimal now and she is off IV fluids.  The only wires/tubes attached to her now are the ones to the monitors!  I’m so proud of that little girl. That girl doesn’t even know that she isn’t supposed to be born yet.  I’m sure she is wondering why everyone is making such a fuss over her because her actions show that she thinks she is a normal full-term baby.

 

 

 

 

 

Right now, I’m cuddled up in bed with the dogswhile Justin is in the bathtub.  It’s really quiet and I’m thinking of our little girl in the NICU.  The house is the same as we left it before I delivered it feels so empty and almost lifeless without Lillie here.  Even though she hasn’t come home yet, Lillie already has a presence here.  Even the dogs know that someone is missing in our little home. Right now, life in this house is exactly how it was when we left but it just doesn’t feel the same.  Something changed when Lillie was brought into this world.  I love to cuddle with my doggies and I missed them so much while I was gone, but life just isn’t going to feel right again until Lillie is home with me Justin, Molly and Dexter.  Then our little family will be together and everything will feel right again.

 

 

It’s really hard for me to write and update the blog right now…really hard for me to update anything for that matter.  I’m up at the hospital all day pumping and feeding Lillie then trying to get stuff done and prepared for her to come home since she took us by surprise.  But I’m going to update this thing as much as I can to keep everyone updated and to post pictures.  The blog will be the place to check for the most details on her and to see the most pictures of her.

 

 

I want to thank you all for the prayers that you have said for me, Justin and Lillie over the next few days.  Continue to pray for us-for Lillie to continue to improve, to stay healthy and to get to come home when God knows it’s the right time for her,  to be patient when we try to teach her to breastfeed; for Justin-he’s got to finish up school in the next week or so, to find the right balance of baby, work and school while Lillie is in the hospital, and to stay restful because he’s got a hormonal, delirious wife at home; and for me-that I have the opportunities to stay as rested as possible, that I keep my anxiety at normal levels and to cope well when I start getting overwhelmed, and this might be silly but that the Christmas spirit seeps back into my soul.  I don’t know if it’s because of the weather or because I haven’t had a chance to even think but I love Christmas time and I want to be excited about it again!

 

Talk to all of y’all soon!