Not long after I found out that I was pregnant, I bought a daily prayer book to keep me calm about being responsible for the well-being of another human being and to cope with the huge life changes that I would face in the upcoming months. While my intentions were good, I never cracked open that book until Sunday night. I had started feeling sort of anxious about things and there is nothing that good old prayer to put your mind at ease.
Instead of starting from day one, I flipped to the exact day I was supposed to be on-week 19, day 5. The book starts with a scripture from the bible, then a short blurb of what it means and how to apply it to your life as a mommy to be and then some thought provoking questions asking about how the scripture affects your life personally. My scripture for the day was Genesis 25:24
“When it came time for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb.”
Uh, come again? Did you say TWIN BOYS? OMG. Needless to say, I panicked a bit. When Justin asked me what was wrong I said “I know what we are having. Jesus just told me.” I read him the scripture and he thought I was nuts, reading into it too much. I said “Don’t you think it’s weird that the first time I even open this book to read it, that this is the scripture for my prayer tonight? Don’t you think that Someone is trying to tell us something? And oh yeah, maybe that is why the crib is broken and we have to take it back? Yeah….it’s because we don’t need that big pretty crib to go up against the wall, we are going to need 2 smaller cribs to rest perpendicular against the wall so that everything will fit in that room. And remember what Em said, she said that twins’ heart beats can synchronize together where you only hear one and that they are known to hide behind one another and that’s why we only saw one on our first sonogram. I am as big as that girl that is having twins that I went to high school with! AND, twins run on the mother side and skip a generation!” Justin-“So.” Me-“So, you don’t remember what Em also said? She said that Ma Ma miscarried with fraternal twins before she got pregnant with Mama. And fraternal twins are more common in women who get pregnant 30 or later. Ma Ma was older than 30, and HELLO-I just turned 30!” Yep, panic overcame him too. I started talking about how we were going to be able to afford twins and of course I couldn’t work because childcare would cost more than our mortgage (oh please Jesus, give us twins so this mama can stay at home!) and then I started thinking about insurance and asking Justin about his policy. I think this sent him over the edge because his response was “Why don’t we just talk about all this when we get there.” Ha ha. Of course, I coined the phrase “beat a dead horse” so by the time we went to bed that night, we were a little more than nervous and having a good time with all the jokes I was cracking.
The next day, I actually looked up the scripture in the Bible and the twins that it was referring to were Esau and Jacob. Jacob is Justin’s #1 boy name. The omens are everywhere! I thought that book was to comfort me, not increase my anxiety! Eek!
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